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Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 07:50 pm
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OH YOU KNOW WHAT!? FUCK YOU! FUCK LIVEJOURNAL, FUCK YOU GUYS. JUST FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU AND GO TO HELL!!!!!! |
I'm going to make this public because some of this stuff is directed at people who aren't on my friends list.
1) List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.
1. Do you get some sort of sick and twisted sense of pleasure by making me feel like crap and making me panic, or are you just the biggest bullshit artist in the world? I really wish that I could believe you. You finally did it, lost my trust in you. And that's a hard thing to gain back. I wish I knew the truth. But I fear that I never will...
2. You are a skeezer, yes a skeezer. You have stds yet you still sleep with numerous people. Your new boyfriend doesn't know and you're lying to him about breaking up with your old one. And worst of all, one of the people you're messing around with is one of my friends. I hate you and I don't understand how you can be so selfish and how you can live with yourself doing that to people. You're ruining lives.
3. You are crazy. I mean it, crazy. You are the most psychotic person I know and I never can trust you and never have. I never believed anything you ever said, in fact you downright scare me. I hope I never see you again, yet I know that's not going to happen.
4. Why do you do this to yourself? You don't deserve all this shit. You shouldn't be hanging out with people who are going to take advantage of you and fuck with your head. You've gotten yourself in enough trouble as it is. When are you going to learn that enough is enough?
5. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm so stressed out and nobody cares. I know I take out all my anger on you but I don't mean to do it, really. I feel like we're being torn apart, and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. I wish I could say this to you, I want to. Why are you so cruel though? You always have a nasty tone, and you're always yelling and screaming about something. You need to go to the hospital, and relax. Maybe even get some medication if it will help. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I love you and I hope that you feel better soon.
6. Why haven't you messaged back yet? What's going on. I feel like finding you may not have been such a good thing after all. It puts so much stress on me, and I can't tell anybody. And there going to hate me for a looooong time once I finally tell the person I mean. She will hate me. I don't know if I can handle this.
7. I found her and I've been talking to her for a long time now. I'm sorry I never told you. I don't know why. I know you how much she means to you but I want you to know she didn't abandon you. She would never. Or so, I'd like to believe. I honestly don't know. I'm sorry.
8. You are a prick. I don't know what I ever saw in you. I hope you burn in hell for the rest of your life. Or get run over by a semi-truck, over and over and over again.
9. You should just drop dead. I don't talk shit about you and I'd really like to know where you get your information from. You'll never been anything but a manipulating, drug-attic, bum. I know you were involved with it, and I will find a way to take you down. I just don't know how yet. And who is it that had a problem with me and handled it? Who!? Can you tell me that!? You're a bullshitter. Really. Someone that I have a problem with... for most of my days what do I do? I go to school, and go back home. THAT'S pretty much my whole life. My room + school. So fuck you. Get a life, and go dig yourself a hole you piece of shit bum. You're NOTHING!
10. I really miss you, you know? I don't know when I'm ever going to see you again. I was kind of hoping today, since I'm at the library. It's one of the only places I see you. And not too often either. I want to know how you are doing. Have things gotten better or worse? Will we ever be good friends again. I feel like it's my fault we don't see eachother anymore. In fact, I know it's my fault. The least I could do is walk to your house or something. I just don't know if I have the guts to just do that again. It's been so long, and how awkward would it be if we did start hanging out again. Will it be the same as it used to be... no i think not. I would like to hope so, but I know otherwise. I really miss you, and I hope everything goes well for you. I'm sorry for what I've done to you in the past, but I know sorry won't make up for it.
11. Once again it's Monday and I'm not in school. I just can't bare to see her face right now. I'm sorry. Perhaps I'll go back in time for gym, just so I can see you guys. You're probably at the school right now. Maybe I'll go to school for Math too. She's not in that class. And if she doesn't see me, she may not go to the gym. I don't know. Hope to see you tonight.
(To be continued...)
[trust me it will be continued]×Current Mood:  stressed ×Current Music: None |
Look at that, I went to Six Flags again, awesome! We went on EVERYTHING... well almost. If it weren't for the 3 1/2 hour wait for Kingda Ka. Of course it was awesome. Korina, I kept my eyes open the WHOLE time this time, it was awesome. And my new favorite ride is Nitro in the FRONT SEAT of course. OH MY GOD it was great. Especially at night, the first drop I grabbed onto Rob's arm, lmao! Well, to actually start the story off right. I went with Rob, Allyson, Bobby, and Leeanne. Allyson was the n00b at roller coasters this time around, fun! We went on Skull Mountain first to give Allyson an easy start. 2nd was Batman the Ride which Allyson didn't seem to like too much. 3rd? Nitro! I screamed like a bitch the 1st time on Nitro again, but it was GREAT. After that we went on Medusa which was nice and relaxing like usual. Medusa rides so smooth... unlike Rolling Thunder which was next. By the time we got off that one my ears were bleeding from the screeching from the turns. lol.
We took a short break to eat in the car and after we came back Rob and Leeanne went on the Space Shuttle and me, Allyson, and Bobby paid $6 each to go on this Flight Jet Simulation thing which was pretty cool. Afterwards we got foot massages, which felt good but numbed all the way up my legs. We all met up and it was time for the American Scream Machine. To my surprise I liked it ALOT. We even got to go on twice because the line was so short. Allyson made me promise to scream with her as loud as I could, but I think I did more screaming then she did. After that, we were gonna go on Kingda Ka but Allyson and Bobby didn't want to go on, so it was just Me, Rob, and Leeanne. Oh my god, the wait... at least we had eachother to keep us company. It was so bad, but I got to know Rob and Leeanne a little better which was cool. Kingda Ka was GREAT though, it was SO worth the wait. We met back up with Allyson and Bobby at 7:15 (we waited on line since 3:45ish.) We decided to go on Medusa again, so we went to cross the Haunted Bridge between El Toro and Medusa, when Allyson seen a Ghoul and bugged out. Allyson and Bobby went to the car, and me, Rob, and Leeanne waited on line for Medusa, but the line was so long and they were on their 5th test run in a row so we left and headed towards Nitro. We felt bad for leaving Allyson and Bobby so we called them and they seemed okay, so continued towards Nitro. On the way there we seen the outside gravitron thingy and went on. It wasn't bad... short though. We finally made it to Nitro in time for one last coaster. (The park closed at 9:00.) And we decided to make it worthwhile and wait the extra 10 minutes for the front row. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! It was FUCKING GREAT!!! And it was so beautiful at night. My favorite. Afterwards we went to a couple of gift shops, and bought Allyson a lightup lightsaber which was cool. Bobby seemed to like it. (LMAO!) I had a great night, and it was fun meeting Leeanna, and chilling with them all day. I hope he brings her to chill more often. I really had a great time!×Current Mood:  GREAT ×Current Music: GHOSTBUSTERS |
Shit just keeps piling up on top of eachother. Nothing can ever go right for long can it!? This blows. First Natalie ended up cutting 2nd period. She ended up doing shit again and I can't take it. After a year of being clean it happens again. And she promised me. Allyson and me told Mr. Vitti too but he didn't really help much. I'm really worried about her and I don't need this right now. Uhh.. this is horrible.×Current Mood: worried |
This is really serious this time I think. My mother really scared me today in an e-mail. I don't even know where to begin. First off it was all in caps lock which she never types in. She was panicking. I tolder her too much and I don't know what to do. I told her about my sister being put in Sagamore for 2 weeks. She started freaking out, is she on drugs? Why is she there? Why doesn't she go to school? She feels responsible for this. I know some MAY have something to do with her, but man. She threatened to go to my dad's job and find out from him first hand, which is bad because nobody knows that I am talking to her so my dad may get real mad that I kept it from him all this time. I'm scared of what'd happen. And what if my mom is not off drugs? How can I trust her. I haven't even met her in person yet. And I believe she lost all visiting rights which means it's illegal for her to come near us. Even worse, according to my sister my dad told her she was dead. I feel like I may have caused a whole lot of shit for my family that we just don't need right now. My sister is gonna HATE me when she finds out about all this. I don't know.×Current Mood: Panicked ×Current Music: The Fray - How to Save a Life |
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